Elizabeth Hurley and her son hold hands with the children of Shane Warne as they watch the Australian bowler make his cricketing comeback.

Greg Hands MP has just woken up to the (very minor) changes to the "mark to market" rules, endorsed yesterday by the International Accounting Standards Board (or IASB). This, Mr Hands informs us, was "apparently against their better judgement", but under pressure from "various EU countries, especially Germany, France and Italy". Clearly, he is unaware that a "common position", supported by the UK,...

Another day and another chapter in the burgeoning row between Respect MP, George Galloway, and Conservative MP, Greg Hands.In his letter to the Tory backbencher last week, not only did Galloway fail to apologise for not telling Hands he was speaking in his constituency, but he mocked him, claiming not to know who he was.Hands has now hit back, saying he is not surprised Galloway doesn't recognise ...

There is a lot of waste and needles expenditure in Whitehall but it is, frankly, pathetic of Greg Hands to try and make a fuss about Hazel Blears having a couple of Spanish lessons before attending a summit in Spain or Peter Mandelson being taught how to use a Blackberry. The reputation of politicians is low-enough without MPs spending time and money on this kind of absurd gotcha exercise. Hands r...

Why do they always use photographs of people's hands. I truly hate this photograph which the BBC has given such prominence. And then there's this one, which I do not hate as much, but dislike because its hands again. Perhaps its because hands show wrinkles of age more prominently. It's the same when people who have suffered a terrible personal loss are being interviewed. So often th...

Something I’ve just realised about the Daily Telegraph’s campaign, “Hands off Our Land“. They’re not in fact demanding that government take its hands off their land. They’re arguing that government should put its hands all over everyone else’s land. Far from saying “It’s my land, gerroff it” they’re saying “that’s his la...

Thierry Henry, cheat, wants to play football against the Irish with his hands does he? Let's get him down to Croke Park and he can play some Gaelic Football* and then see how he likes using his hands then, eh? * I appreciate that this clip comprises hurling as well as football. Alas the most violent football clips are not available on YouTube...

Federal Europe is going to force mobile phone companies to cut the cost of text messages in Europe from an average of 23p to 9p. Whoop de fucking do. Hands up who’s been abroad this year. Hands up who sent loads of text messages while they were there. Hands up who regularly uses their mobile

Well done Mark Pack for highlighting an extraordinary series of facts about our cranky old electoral system. 29% of seats haven't changed hands since 1945. Half of the seats in England haven't changed hands since 1970. When you add this to the research by Mark Thompson (that showed that MPs in the safest seats were three times more likely to be involved in expenses scandals than those in the least...

His face was stretched taut with nerves. His top lip appeared to be locked solid. As the Iraq inquiry's chairman, Sir John Chilcot, told the world that this was not a trial, the witness's hands opened a bottle of water, his hands visibly shaking. Tony Blair clasped both hands together in front of him to steady himself as Sir John expressed the hope that the inquiry could go about its bus...